Math Professor Quotes
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“e^x is God’s function. ln(x) is the Devil’s function.” — Calculus professor -
“We’ll continue decomposing after the break. Not what I meant, but we are all slowly decomposing.” — Calculus professor on partial fraction decompositions -
- Professor: So, what should you feel when you see the derivative of arctan(x)?
- Student: Fear.
- Professor: That will come in a later unit.
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“What do you think? Should we leave this up to freak out my algebra kids next period?” — Calculus teacher, with a particularly long chain rule problem on the board -
“Do not frustrate me.” — Calculus professor -
“So it’s squozen between a series that converges and a series that diverges? That’s not much of a squoze.” — Calculus professor who likes to say “squozen” instead of “squeezed” -
“If you want to, you can hold hands with the person next to you.” — Calculus professor on the chain rule -
After the semester ended, I sent a friend request to my Honors Calculus III teacher.
A few days later, I learned why he took forever to grade stuff.
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- Calculus Professor: Now, if you saw this on a test, what would you do?
- Student: Cry?
- Calculus Professor: No, try.
- Student: Try not to cry?
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“Have I told you the golden rule yet? No? Whenever you think about using the existential quantifier, use the universal one. That’s the correct answer.” — Calculus professor